Self Awareness

What is self awareness? One may find different definitions in books and publications. I would like to coin my definition as I see it. According to me, “Self awareness is the honest realization of one’s own capabilities and shortcomings without external influences.”

It is very often said that one must be honest and true to oneself. This appears simple, but is not very easy in practice. We either tend to overrate our own capabilities or tend to underplay them. Both these approaches are harmful.

The most common result of overrating our own capabilities is over confidence. We sometimes try to convince others and ourselves that we are capable of something even though we know that we are not true to ourselves.

Optimism is a desirable and laudable trait. However, optimism should be tinged with cautiousness to make it constructive and meaningful. A cautious optimist is respected for his maturity and foresight. Let me explain this with a small example that is usually quite common in today’s corporate world. A manager asks a young, dynamic, “over confident” executive whether he could make a presentation to an eminent gathering of professionals. The manager jumps at the proposal and readily agrees. His brashness and eagerness prevents him from making a mock up and discussing it with his colleagues. On the appointed day, he makes his presentation, but it ends in a fiasco. He is not able to answer the questions from the audience and cuts a sorry figure.

What effect will this type of incident have on the concerned person? He suffers a loss of self esteem and loss of self confidence. Both these effects are profound, long lasting and debilitating.

According to me a person who realizes and states his true capabilities, is not only mature, but courageous. Further, when he realizes that he has shortcomings, he is spurred to improve upon them. As the saying goes, reality bites. All of us are not leaders. The faster one realizes this, the easier it is for him to decide on his future and set targets for himself.

On the other end of the spectrum are those who are falsely “modest.” This modesty can arise out of a person’s inherent nature or out of lack of self confidence. I have also found that sometimes this effect arises because of a penchant for detail. Such people, in my opinion, have low self esteem. They are not sure of themselves, though they are capable. They hesitate to grab opportunities because they feel that challenges overwhelm them. Some of these people try to put on a show of modesty to conceal their basic, lazy nature.

There are certain other factors that relate to self awareness. As is clear form the foregoing paragraphs, self awareness is dependent of many factors, most of them behavioural.  Self awareness can also be induced by affected by harmful effects of certain relationships. A dominant spouse, parent or boss can cause a harmful effect on a person’s confidence. When this effect persists over a long time, the damage can be permanent and cause a loss of self esteem.

On the positive side, self awareness enables us to be free from unnecessary pressures and concerns and allows us to live life on our own terms. I am reminded of a signboard that I saw a few days back advertising a career option. It showed a smiling, confident lady telling her friend, “I’m not a MBA. So what?”

Summarizing, it is important to know and be aware of our own capabilities. It makes life more enjoyable and free from artificial pressures. It gives us the opportunity to know our drawbacks and work on them. Most important, it enables us to protect our self esteem.  

Friends and Friendship

“A friend in need is a friend indeed,” may be an old saying, but it summarizes friendship in as simple a form as possible. Friendship is something we live on, it is what sustains us and keeps us going. The best way of realizing the value of friendship is to ask honestly of ourselves how life would be if every one of us keeps to ourselves and refrains from sharing our thoughts and experiences with others.

The bond of friendship can be very strong if it is real. I say this because we are witness to and also at times experience the withering away of so called friendships when they become inconvenient.

When a person is successful there he has a lot of friends. He is surrounded by “friends” who are ready to do what he says. The same person becomes an untouchable for most of these “friends” when he falls from grace. 

Good friendship flows from a genuine concern for others, a desire to help and, of course, good breeding. It is a bond that is permanent and can be broken only by deceit and breach of trust.

A friend is somebody you can confide in, somebody with whom you can share your joys and pleasures. True friendship is a relationship that knows no barriers and obstacles. It is a relationship that is free from the desire of personal gain. The only benefit one derives out of friendship is a feeling of companionship and trust. It transcends all boundaries of blood relationship. To quote an old saying once again, a friend is “a shoulder to cry on and a smile to lean against.”

Having said all this, friendship sometimes is so close that it becomes blind to life’s demands and even makes one compromise one’s own principles. The best example of such blind friendship is, perhaps, found in the Hindu epic, The Mahabharata where Karan sacrifices his principles and supports Duryodhan knowing that both of them are going to meet their doom. A true friend is one who has the courage to caution and advice when he sees that the other person is doing even at the risk of incurring his wrath.

There is a lot more that can be said about friendships and good friends. A good friend brings a smile to our faces, and we are comfortable in his company. Let us thank nature and Providence that the world is not all about commerce and money. Friendships make this world a good place to be in.

Internet Relationships

Are internet relationships good or are they to be avoided? I wish I had an answer. Probably this question lurks in the minds of all people who indulge in them. I can safely say that the answer lies somewhere in between these extreme positions. Such relationships can be used effectively to one’s advantage if proper discretion is exercised. They can also result in unfavourable, unenviable and dangerous situations to unknowing users, who do not exercise proper care.

What is good?

Internet relationships, if properly used have many benefits like

-        One can make good friends with whom a close and lasting relationship can be developed. However, care should be taken not to reveal too much about oneself before checking whether the other person is genuine and is talking the truth about himself. The genuineness or otherwise of the person is revealed if the relationship is built up step by step. This means the user should converse or chat with the person over a period of time and look for suspicious statements or unnecessary haste on the other person’s part to know more about you before he shares information about himself

-        Chats on specific subjects like sports, entertainment and business are usually harmless

-        Sometimes one meets interesting people on the net who are very knowledgeable and are willing to share and teach. One should encourage such relationships

One common practice by people is to lie about their age. The only way out is to question them and try to trap them by asking them questions so that they falter at some point.

What is to be avoided?

-        Keep clear of people who are aggressive and ask you a lot of questions that they need not know

-        Avoid giving your telephone number and other details till you trust the person

-        If you are a lady you can immediately sense when the conversation is crossing its limits. In such cases tell the other person clearly and firmly to avoid contacting you. If he persists, IGNORE him

-        Choose your usernames and email address carefully . They should not include personal details like age, birthday , gender etc.

-         Be even more careful with your webcam. Only use it with people you know offline, and make sure you turn it off when you're done.

Finally, remember that your net community is a virtual world and not reality till you develop real friendships. With proper care, virtual friends can become real friends.

The Reading Habit

According to an international journal, “Reading habit is the art of personal investigation and self study. It should be followed by self thinking and analysis, and only this kind of study, on one’s own accord, can develop into good reading habit.”

So true. Reading has to be followed by thinking, introspection and analysis to assimilate what we have read. Otherwise reading is an exercise that has no value or use. Text book reading is generally done out of compulsion, as when we study for an examination or for other academic pursuits like research and so on. This type of reading cannot be classified under “reading habit.”

When we read something we should be able to think of what the writer or author is trying to convey in the written piece. Sometimes it is necessary to decipher the hidden meaning of what is written and conveyed.

Apart from all these theories, it is a fact that a good book can teach us a lot, can expand our horizons and, sometimes, the fictitious characters are large as life and teach us a few things. I recently read an article in a website whose author advises that if one has set times for reading every day.

If I were to advise a person who wants to develop the reading habit I would tell him that he had to reduce watching television and browsing the net. These “distractions” are responsible for the reading habit losing its appeal on youngsters. Having said this, it must be admitted that the proportion of youngsters in book shops is still high.

It is very important that we help youngsters inculcate this habit. Actually they can be introduced to reading at a very early age. Youngsters become more inquisitive and curious when they see written matter and graphical illustrations and pictures. Curiosity and inquisitiveness help develop young minds and makes them ready for more information.

A good source of reading material, apart from the good bookshops, is shops that sell used and old books. We sometimes get very good and rare books here, as some people are not aware of their value and sell them off.

As a librarian , I want  my all books to be issued with all shelves empty.... :)

Summarizing, it must be said that a determined effort is necessary to popularize the reading habit. The onus of this is on the present generation.

Business Etiquette – As seen by a layman

 Etiquette is “not about fork and knife” – it’s about consideration and respect toward the people around us.

Etiquette is a very important factor in our daily lives, as it defines our behaviour with people with whom we come across. Display of good etiquette makes a strong statement on our general manners, our upbringing and our concern for others. In business, etiquette is important, especially in international dealings as it gives others an idea of our country and our values. In this short note, I am listing some good practices concerning business etiquette as I see it

·         When a visitor comes to your office see that he is welcomed and taken to the person or persons he or she wants to meet. This is especially important in companies where knowledge is guarded. Apart from showing courtesy to the visitor it ensures that he does not move into restricted areas

·         In any meeting where guests are present, welcome them at the start and inform them on the location of the washrooms and evacuation procedures in the event of an emergency

·         When walking with others in a corridor, ensure that, if you are in the lead that you follow certain good practices. When you approach a door that opens outward go ahead, open the door and move aside with the door opened to let the others pass. If the door opens towards you, hold it open to allow the others to pass first

·         When in a meeting allow others to talk without interrupting them midway. They should be allowed to finish what they are saying after which you can respond

·         Be punctual. You cannot waste others’ time

·         Dress well. It gives a good impression

·       Do not pull up your subordinates in public. You can do it in private. If done in public it will hurt his pride

One thing I was in doubt till a few years back was whether there was any protocol or norm to be followed when introducing people. This is because introductions are practically the first thing we do before a meeting or official interaction starts. Let me share with you what I have learnt after studying some literature on the subject.

Introductions have to be done in the proper manner to make the all important "first impression.” Here are some tips that may make you wiser.

-     In social situations remember to introduce the man to the lady

-     In business situations the person with a higher rank is introduced to the rest first

-     In formal meetings it is always good to add a line on the person’s background or achievements when making introductions

-     Finally, if it is possible, try to space out the introductions so that people remember each other

Values For Children

In this “happening” and fast world we live in, everyone is impatient and in a hurry to make money, excel in their careers and be ahead of others in practically everything. It is a mad race for recognition and materialistic success. I and others in my age group grew up under different conditions when the world was a much slower place and people had time for each other.

I am bringing up this subject because of my concern that in the present day world, full of distractions and full of competition, that we may not be doing justice as elders and parents towards the younger generation. Is the younger generation vulnerable and is it in deficit as far as possessing good values is concerned?

There are a few aspects, which my ‘wandering’ mind is debating. For example, are we teaching our children correctly with respect to sustainability and care for the environment? Are we teaching them to stand up against and fight against injustice and wrongdoing? Are we teaching them to be good citizens?

Other small things that we should teach our children are:

    Respect for tradition: Teach them to respect our culture and tradition. They may be anywhere in   the world, but they should always remember from where they came

     Respect for elders: This is a very important quality. They should not forget that elders built and toiled for whatever they have

        Respect for institutions: Their school, college and workplace are institutions that groomed them

        Honesty and Integrity: Teach them to value these qualities

        Compassionate attitude: Teach them to respect and help those who are not unfortunate as them

These are only some of the values we have to instill in our children. These are only the tip of the iceberg. And values are not generated overnight. These are to be instilled in young minds. We should lead and guide them by example. Probably many of us don’t have these values. However, if we have to leave this world a better place to live in it is absolutely necessary that we pay attention to our youth and teach them to be good and compassionate human beings

Book Review

Title Of Book: Marketing For Hospitality And Tourism

Author: Philip Kotler , John Bowen And James Makens

Publisher: Pearson Education

Edition : 3^rd ed.

Cost: Rs 499

Pages: 909

ISBN: 81-7758-203-8 

About the book

The name Kotler is synonymous with management study. I am fascinated by the fact that the entire management section in our library is stacked with books by Philips Kotler. This set me thinking and I decided to constructively review this book. 

Philips Kotler, one of the world’s foremost authorities on marketing, along with hospitality marketing experts John Bowen and James Makens, bring their knowledge of the hospitality industry to the pages of Marketing for Hospitality and Tourism.

This hospitality book is comprehensive and innovative, and gives an insight into the managerial aspects and provides a practical introduction to marketing, state-of –the – art and real-world. The information provided in the book is very well organized and offers examples and exercises from well-known companies and applications that illustrate the major decisions hospitality marketing managers face in their efforts to balance objectives and resources against needs and opportunities in today’s global marketplace.

Each chapter opens with a description of  a company situation. Each chapters ends with a review in outline form.

The topics reflect the authors’ rich experience in teaching and international consulting in the hospitality and travel industries.

Part 1: Introduces the concept of Hospitality Marketing and its importance.

Part 2: Developing Hospitality and Tourism Marketing Opportunities and strategies -   explain  the role of consumers’ behavior and how it affects the marketing environment.

Part 3: Developing the Hospitality and Tourism Mix – Identifies and explain strategies for promoting products and various distribution channels.

Part 4: Managing Hospitality and Tourism Marketing – Highlights the latest trends in Electronic Marketing, destination Marketing and planning for the future.

The book has international focus, which helps expose students to business and cultural examples from others parts of the world. Rather than have one chapter on international marketing, the authors have incorporated examples throughout the text.

Its style and extensive use of examples and illustrations make this simple, direct easy to read, and enjoyable.

Very few books I have read bring out so lucidly the subject addressed making the reader engrossed and interested. Believe me, this book is worth it !!!!!!!!!!!