What is self awareness? One may find different definitions in books
and publications. I would like to coin my definition as I see it. According to
me, “Self awareness is the honest realization of one’s own capabilities and
shortcomings without external influences.”
It is very often said that one must be honest and true to oneself.
This appears simple, but is not very easy in practice. We either tend to
overrate our own capabilities or tend to underplay them. Both these approaches
are harmful.
The most common result of overrating our own capabilities is over
confidence. We sometimes try to convince others and ourselves that we are
capable of something even though we know that we are not true to ourselves.
Optimism is a desirable and laudable trait. However, optimism should
be tinged with cautiousness to make it constructive and meaningful. A cautious
optimist is respected for his maturity and foresight. Let me explain this with
a small example that is usually quite common in today’s corporate world. A
manager asks a young, dynamic, “over confident” executive whether he could make
a presentation to an eminent gathering of professionals. The manager jumps at
the proposal and readily agrees. His brashness and eagerness prevents him from
making a mock up and discussing it with his colleagues. On the appointed day,
he makes his presentation, but it ends in a fiasco. He is not able to answer
the questions from the audience and cuts a sorry figure.
What effect will this type of incident have on the concerned person?
He suffers a loss of self esteem and loss of self confidence. Both these
effects are profound, long lasting and debilitating.
According to me a person who realizes and states his true
capabilities, is not only mature, but courageous. Further, when he realizes
that he has shortcomings, he is spurred to improve upon them. As the saying
goes, reality bites. All of us are not leaders. The faster one realizes this,
the easier it is for him to decide on his future and set targets for himself.
On the other end of the spectrum are those who are falsely “modest.”
This modesty can arise out of a person’s inherent nature or out of lack of self
confidence. I have also found that sometimes this effect arises because of a
penchant for detail. Such people, in my opinion, have low self esteem. They are
not sure of themselves, though they are capable. They hesitate to grab
opportunities because they feel that challenges overwhelm them. Some of these
people try to put on a show of modesty to conceal their basic, lazy nature.
There are certain other factors that relate to self awareness. As is
clear form the foregoing paragraphs, self awareness is dependent of many
factors, most of them behavioural. Self
awareness can also be induced by affected by harmful effects of certain
relationships. A dominant spouse, parent or boss can cause a harmful effect on
a person’s confidence. When this effect persists over a long time, the damage
can be permanent and cause a loss of self esteem.
On the positive side, self awareness enables us to be free from
unnecessary pressures and concerns and allows us to live life on our own terms.
I am reminded of a signboard that I saw a few days back advertising a career
option. It showed a smiling, confident lady telling her friend, “I’m not a MBA.
So what?”
Summarizing, it is important to know and be aware of our own
capabilities. It makes life more enjoyable and free from artificial pressures.
It gives us the opportunity to know our drawbacks and work on them. Most
important, it enables us to protect our self esteem.
